[12 ] ღƪ(ˆ◡ˆ)ʃ♡ƪ(ˆ◡ˆ)ʃ♪ Mama y Papa
Try something different. Surrender. — Rumi
This one is a data-driven guesstimate because I'm not a parent. Yet.
Parenthood is something I meditate on — not the "Om" kind, I mean the shower thoughts kind. There's a lot I don't know about the world, and all children come pre-installed with questions. Given the mixed feelings I have about my own, I wonder if I will be a good (enough) parent. When I eventually raise young humans, I want to raise them with care and transparency and surrender myself to this oft-mundane act of sustained devotion.
No matter how I look at it, I am my parents' child. A heterotopia of the colliding worlds of two people with near-equal claims on my ways of thinking and being. My first understanding of love came in the form of parents who devoted their time, emotions, resources, and skills to teach me about my world. Harsh words on some occasions and rash actions on others, but most of the time, it was pretty cool to be their kid. I got to learn anything I wanted as long as it was good for my body, mind, and soul — lucky me.
And then I grew up and tested their love. Aiyo rama... o_O
Devotion, transparency, care, and compassion don't come as easily when it actively questions everything you know — "it" being me. While I think I was a reasonably uncomplicated young woman to raise, my subtle choices rippled into waves that toppled my parents (eventually). They're still alive, thankfully, and they seem to have surrendered some of their old ideas at the altar of Good Parenting. But I think they experienced a loss of self during this time.
Sacrifice is the first expression of love I can remember. A sacrifice of their ideals for mine. An unfair trade I'll have to make willingly when my turn comes. I think about my guiding values, my stress responses, and my expressions of love, and I can only hope to be enough of a good example for the people I might raise.